I Cannot Disappoint My Fans: Blind Date Report Back

Dear fans,

Many of you have expressed frustration, sadness, curiosity, and even anxiety and anger over my "leaving you in the dark" and not telling you all about my first ever blind date with Stevie. (Don't worry Boobs Not Bombs fan-- you are not alone. There are others out there who, like you, can't wait to hear from me.) For that, I sincerely apologize. I was running all around this week like a ho with her head chopped off. That's gross. Sorry. What I intended to be a cute mixed metaphor came out sounding like some southern misogynist proverb, which makes light of violence against prostitutes.

So, when I got to the date, I was a little disappointed. That sounds terrible. But the woman who set us up had described him as really cute and her enthusiasm and confidence in his looks made me think he was, you know, walking down the street, you think he's cute. He was more like "Oh I can see that if he was cool he could be cute." Definitely looked at my boobs in an annoyingly obvious way.Of course, there's the whole issue of how a guy SHOULD respond to subtle cleavage, for which I bare full responsibility. Either the tactlessness or the obviousness made me keep my shawl on the whole night.

At first the conversation was slow, but then it got good and interesting and engaging and intellectually stimulating. My attraction for him grew over the period of the date, which is a good thing. If it keeps going at this rate, in a couple more dates I won't be able to keep my

 hands off of him. I don't have that problem now.

He paid, which was nice, and walked me to the train and all that. He called me a few days later and I called him back a bunch of days later, not on purpose-- that my conscious is aware of, anyway-- and now I'm waiting to hear back from him. He told the woman who set us up that I was smart and "cute." I hate the word cute. Am I a panda? Or a chubby baby kicking my michelin thighs like a cricket?

I will keep yous guys posted.