In case you're Juan-dering about Juan's e-mail

Dear friends and fans, Sorry it's been so long. Ho's been busy. So I thought I would use Juan 's lovely e-mail to both make fun of him and teach people some Spanish. Here is what he said in Spanish (the language in which he wrote it) and English. The missing accents are in red.

Hola! espero que te encuentras encuentres [subjunctive] bien a recivier recibir [spelling] estas letras. Solamente quiero dejar te dejarte [when an infinitive verb is immediately followed by a direct or indirect object, it is always one word not two words] saber que lamento por todo y espero que algun dia me puedas perdonar por ser tan ignorante. Tambien quiero que sepas que mis nenes estan aqui y quiero llevar los llevarlos [see above] al parque central serca cerca [c not s] de tu casa. HOPE U DON'T HAT HATE [missing e] MY ASS. CUIDATE..

Here is the translation with his mistakes translated (which is a rough science)

Hi. I hope when you recivier this, you is doing well. I only want to letyou know that I'm sorry for everything and I hope one day you can forgive me for being so ignorant. I also want to letyou to know that my kids are here and I want to bring them to Central Park cloce to your house. HOPE YOU DON'T HAT [sic] MY ASS. TAKE CARE...

My favorite part is recivier. I guess it's a combination of recibir and receive. Plus an added French ier ending for some flair. Of course, had Juan been a nice person I would have find this endearing. But he's not. And before you call me a snob, Juan went to high school and almost graduated college and is very smart. But he's lazy and watches TV all the time. That's not fair, he also spends a lot of time on myspace. So, this is just me cashing in on what I'm owed: fodder for blogging and material. This is just another example of why I (should) have "no regrets (i guess)."