Ask Out Or Get Out!

Sorry for the delay guys. I'm working on a little something for all of you, which is kinda time consuming. Blame my friend Willa. It was her idea. Should be ready by the end of this week.

Anyhoo, speaking of delays and waiting, I wanted to explain that I may have sounded really bitchy last week in my description of Wilson. But what I didn't tell you is that after an hour of a pretty mono-directional "conversation" he really put himself out on a limb. And I think he's moving too fast. After I said I had to go (it was 3AM for Christ's sake*-- not really, but it felt like that) he said "Well thanks for taking the time to talk to me and listen to me." I asked him what his schedule was like next week and he said "Oh, I'm pretty free. So whenever you want, you could give me a call." WHAT? OK buddy. Have you ever heard the expression "Ask out, or get out?"

It's seriously like pulling teeth with this guy. I feel like I already asked him to take off his pants (talk on the phone) and tell me his deepest fantasies (maybe hang out in person). Actually, that's not really a good analogy. I mean I don't usually have to beg guys to take off their pants. I usually just put something in their drinks and yank them off once they knocked out. No, just kidding. My point is "getting" a guy to take his pants off isn't really like pulling teeth. Getting a guy to keep his pants on requires more effort. So, what I should have said is

I feel like I'm moving really fast and am being an inappropriate horndog. I feel like I already asked him to take off his pants (talk on the phone) and tell me his deepest fantasies (maybe hang out in person).

Although, it's probably a good thing he didn't lift the proverbial finger or make any effort whatsoever to move this beyond a phone conversation. Can you imagine if things got serious, I mean really serious, not just third base serious. And we started dating and fell in love. And then imagine I wanted to sanctify our love with the bougie self obsessed institution that is marriage? I'd be screwed. I can't even fathom the number of light years it would take him to ask someone to marry him.

*I like that expression. It's blasphemous (I guess), yet sounds really wholesome.