Ex-orcizing The Demons

I've got good news for fans and friends of the blog (mom)! I am back together with Amiri, my ex. Just kidding. I'm back speaking to him again after a few months of having no contact with him whatsoever. We had been broken up for almost 5 months but had been in touch. Then we got into an IM fight and stopped talking for around 4 months. Some people may not agree with me, but I prefer being in casual contact with the ex to not speaking to him at all. Conventional wisdom says you should cut it off, "fuck him," and soon you'll be over it, it's just a question of time. But when we weren't talking, I thought about him and wasted much more emotional energy on him than I had when we were in touch. I was always aware of our non-talking status, of the the fact that we were not talking. And instead of getting better over time, it got worse. With each passing day, my feelings of anger and sadness and rejection only intensified.

At first it was like "I can't believe it's already been two days since our IM fight and he still hasn't called me to apologize or just check in. Not that I care. In fact, when he does reach out, I'll ignore him."

Then it was like "Wow, I can't believe it's been two weeks and he still hasn't even texted or IM'd. How could he be so cruel? [sniffle]"

And then it turned into "How can he possibly not contact me? Doesn't he miss me? [sobbing]"

But now that we're back in touch he either amuses me or annoys me or both. AND I def don't think about his as much.

Good times. I wonder if I'll have this with Juan. "I can't believe it's been a 2 weeks and 3 days and he still hasn't called me. OH MY GOD! How could he do this to me? [waling and howling]!"